Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

Parang kilala ko yung depektib na yan ah:poke:

Aheehee.....Me no come, She no come, Baby come, How come?:confused::eek::D

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

[COLOR="Blue"]SIOPAO
Kulas: Miss, isa ngang siopao... 'yung babae.
Waitress: Babaeng siopao?
Kulas: Oo. 'Yung may papel na sapin. Kumbaga, napkin.
Waitress: Ahh, ganun po ba? Lalaki po ang nandito.
Kulas: Lalaki?
Waitress: Kasi po, may itlog sa loob.

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

When Computer Experts
Get Bored...They Create
Stuff Like This!!!

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

HOW TO START A FIGHT

[COLOR="Red"]The Unreasonable Mother-in-law
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
And that's when the fight started....
______________________________________

[COLOR="red"]The Humor-less Wife
I took my wife to a restaurant.
The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...

________________________________

[COLOR="red"]The Mis-informed Wife

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked her, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started...
________________________________

[COLOR="red"]The well rounded Wife

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
I bought her a bathroom scale.
And that's when the fight started...

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

HA HA HA HA HA HA :hysterical: HA HA HA HA HA HA :rofl: HA HA HA HA HA HA :hysterical: HA HA HA HA HA HA :bounceD:

BRO WILLY, hanep ang dami mong baon, he he he he he he
Starting to love this thread !!!!!!

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

BRO WILLY, hanep ang dami mong baon, he he he he he he
Starting to love this thread !!!!!

@Rosy

Tnx Brader, hindi lang tools ang nahahasa di ba? With laughter pati isip & emotions din.:laughbounce::clown:

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

An old Irish friend sent this ..... don't know if it's a joke worth a laugh

An old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch..

The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther.. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says....

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.

Of course, I am in no way insinuating that you are old, just 'youthfully challenged'.

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

Here is another one he sent ..

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and
inform

the other if there is sex after death.

Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.

True to his word, he made the first contact:

"Judy..........Judy"

"Is that you, George?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and

then it's off to the golf course.

I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of

more times.

Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp

around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the

afternoon.

After supper, it's back to golf course again.

Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed

sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, George...are you in Heaven?"

"No...........I'm a rabbit in South Australia

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

Some of you got this recently but I'll share it anyway.

AND THE WINNER IS...........

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

LEVELS OF STRESS

You pick up a hitchhiker, a beautiful young girl. Suddenly she
faints inside your car and you take her to a hospital.

Now that's stressful.

But at the hospital, they say she is pregnant and congratulate
you that you are going to be a father.
You say that you are not the father, but the girl says you are.

This is getting very stressful.

So then... you request a DNA test and all possible test just to
prove that you are not the father.
After the tests are completed, the doctor says that you are
infertile, and probably have been since birth.

You are extremely stressed but relieved.

On your way home, you think about your 3 kids.

NOW THAT'S STRESS!

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

ayos tong thread na to ah..puro brand new!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

pasensha na kayo sa nakayanan ko...

Titser sa estudyante:

titser: oy, kulas, natutulog ka na naman! grr! ispelengin mo nga ang "straight"!
estudyante: ah eh opo mam...
estudyante: straight...S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T... straight!
titser: korekek kulas! (duda pa din..)
titser: eh alam mo ba meaning ng STRAIGHT???!!!
estudyante:..hmmm...yes mam!!!
estudyante:...bottoms up!!! straight!!!
titser:...(humahanap ng pang hambalos...)

V

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

Here is another one he sent ..

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Judy..........Judy"
"Is that you, George?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp
around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, George...are you in Heaven?"
"No...........I'm a rabbit in South Australia

GOOD ONE JAYL :rofl::hysterical::lol:

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was walking through the woods.

' What majestic trees! '. ' What powerful rivers! '

' What beautiful animals! ', He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out,
'Oh my God! '
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

' You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer? '

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: ' It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian? '

' Very well ' , said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen. ':pope:

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

ayos tong thread na to ah..puro brand new!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

pasensha na kayo sa nakayanan ko...

Titser sa estudyante:

titser: oy, kulas, natutulog ka na naman! grr! ispelengin mo nga ang "straight"!
estudyante: ah eh opo mam...
estudyante: straight...S-T-R-A-I-G-H-T... straight!
titser: korekek kulas! (duda pa din..)
titser: eh alam mo ba meaning ng STRAIGHT???!!!
estudyante:..hmmm...yes mam!!!
estudyante:...bottoms up!!! straight!!!
titser:...(humahanap ng pang hambalos...)

V

OO nga naman V, sa lasenggo iyon lang ata ang diretsong guhit d ba?, STRAIGHT MGA PARE!!! :thirsty: :cheers:

Re: Laughter, it is still the best medicine

AN ATHEIST IN THE WOODS

An atheist was walking through the woods.

' What majestic trees! '. ' What powerful rivers! '

' What beautiful animals! ', He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer.
He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant moment, the Atheist cried out,
'Oh my God! '
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.

' You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer? '

The atheist looked directly into the light, and said: ' It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian? '

' Very well ' , said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

'Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen. ':pope:

ha ha...paktay ka pa rin.